We have decided that every once in a while we will post up a blog about what God is teaching us through our journey. This is hopefully the first of many. Once I begin classes I will try to occasionally write about what I am learning, but todays post comes from my quiet time reading. I am still trying to get back into my daily quiet time routine after our move (an excuse that is NOT justified) and have been doing better lately. While I was working, I found an email devotion that was good that I could read first thing when I got to work. Since I am not working on a daily basis, I am having to adjust when I get my quiet time. So far my most consistent time has been during Connors's nap time (quiet time is not something a 2 year old gets surprisingly enough). Alright so getting back to what I am going to share, this is something that I have been struggling with since our move and hope that maybe this will encourage others that may be struggling with it as well.
Disclaimer: This was not a planned or well written report. These are my thoughts on the following scripture verses and my flow of thoughts as I think of them. Hopefully you can follow it and it makes some sort of sense. ENJOY!
Living by Faith.
I have really been struggling with the idea of living by faith recently. This may surprise some of you at first, but hear me out on this. It is safe to say that we have exercised this idea of living by faith decently well recently. Marya and I felt God's call for us to go into ministry and so we acted on this call. In the past 6 months we quit both our jobs (secure jobs that made plenty of money for us to live comfortably on), tried to sell our house, and moved 1000+ miles away from our families and friends to a place we know little about. That took a lot of faith. I do not say that to sound boastful, but it was really hard. That was a decision that did not come lightly and one that we prayed about and prayed about, and then we prayed about it some more. I think maybe deep down inside I thought to myself, "well after all this sacrifice, maybe seminary life will be easy." Haha It is far from that. I firmly believe that God called us to seminary, and specifically Gordon Cowell, so that it would not be easy. I am not cynical or bitter, but I do believe that it is for our own good, and for the good of God's plan that we do this. This is the first time as a couple that Marya and I are truly, 100%, absolutely needing to trust in God and live by faith. I feel this experience will make us stronger Christians and stronger as a couple. We have a lot of fears, and worries. We still do not have a renter or buyer in our house. We learned that taxes AND insurance go up when you rent out a house. Health Insurance is expensive! Meeting new people and developing new friendships is difficult. So through all this and more, I was starting to really freak out. I can safely say that for a while at the beginning of this week, I was NOT living by faith, I was NOT reading my bible daily, and my walk with God was NOT EVEN CLOSE to where it should be. Luckily, I was led to the bible mid-week and was led specifically to Hebrews 11. I have since read this passage a couple times and continue to be comforted by it. This may not sounds like a normal "comfort verse" like many others in the Bible, but it is for me right now and I will share with you why. First, I encourage you all to read this chapter (in its entirety), but for those of you that can't or don't want to right now, I will summarize it in the condensed this-is-what-Brian-got-out-of-it-and-it-may-or-may-not-be-100%-right version. Ok so the author starts by giving a brief definition of faith (the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. v1) and then goes into this long list of people in the Bible that show, what I consider to be, extraordinary steps of faithful living in God's will. He talks about Abel, Abraham, Sarah, Moses's parents, Moses, etc. This is by far an exhaustive list of Biblical people that lived by faith, but it is enough of a list to understand what the author is trying to show. My summary of this chapter is that God calls people to live by faith, not necessarily so that THEY will benefit, but so that HE will benefit. These people did not have easy, carefree lives. I'm sure all of these people went through hard times, rough times, times that they questioned what God was doing, and was God really doing what was best. The important thing is though that all these people deep down inside did truly believe that God's plan was far better than their own, and that even though this small window of time might seem bad or tough, living in God's will far outweighs the alternatives. I have found myself starting to understand a small amount of what Abraham was going through (v8-10) when God told him to leave what he knew to follow what God said. Living by faith is difficult, but if you can find the courage to start, God will help you along the way. That is the phrase that continues to reverberate in my head. I don't know if that is from scripture or not, but I do know that God does not abandon those that He has called when you go out in His name whether that is to South Hamilton, MA or you local grocery store. God has a purpose and a plan for each one of us and sometimes the only way to get there is to leave all that you know, all that is comfortable, and all that is easy so that you NEED to turn to Him for guidance.
In Christ,
Brian
PS. I am also going to start a list of current prayer concerns that we will try to update with every post.
1.) Our house
2.) child care for Connor
3.) Faith
